


The One with the Name Changes

by grapalicious



Series: L.E.S.A.M.I.S [2]
Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-18
Updated: 2015-01-18
Packaged: 2018-03-08 01:33:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3190835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grapalicious/pseuds/grapalicious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"Jehan!" Bahorel greeted.</i>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>  <i>"Nope." Jehan smiled widely. "I'm not going by Jehan anymore." There was confused silence.</i></p>
<p> </p>
<p>  <i>"What do you mean?" asked Marius.</i></p>
<p> </p>
<p>  <i>"I'm now going by," he paused for dramatic effect, "Prince Consuelo Banana Hammock." More confused silence with just a hint of disbelief thrown in.</i></p>
<p> </p>
<p>  <i>"That's monarchist," said Enjolras darkly while Bossuet and Musichetta erupted into giggles.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	The One with the Name Changes

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly didn't expect to write another one of these so soon but here we are. 
> 
> Another Les Mis one shot based on FRIENDS (this one obviously inspired by the episode where Phoebe changes her name). These are meant to stand alone and aren't in any chronological order so there's no need to read all parts in this series.
> 
> And for you guys that wanted Jehan!Phoebe, I hope this is somewhat satisfying. :)

When Jehan walked into the Cafe Musain brimming with excitement, he headed straight over to the couches in the corner that their group of friends had unofficially claimed as their own.

"Jehan!" Bahorel greeted.

"Nope." Jehan smiled widely. "I'm not going by Jehan anymore." There was confused silence.

"What do you mean?" asked Marius.

"I'm now going by," he paused for dramatic effect, "Prince Consuelo Banana Hammock." More confused silence with just a hint of disbelief thrown in.

"That's monarchist," said Enjolras darkly while Bossuet and Musichetta erupted into giggles.

"No, it's just a fake title," Jehan explained. "You know, like Sir Elton John."

"Elton John has actually been knighted by the queen."

"Really?" Jehan blinked in surprise. "I mean, yeah, _The Lion King_ soundtrack was good, but was it that good?"

Feuilly shook his head in exasperation and Grantaire said, "It _is_ a pretty damn good soundtrack. Not everyone can write uplifting music for a scene where lions are about to bone."

"I probably could," Jehan proudly stated. "Anyway, that's my new name. Prince Consuelo Banana Hammock." He let the name roll slowly and clearly off his tongue with satisfaction.

"Well, I might as well go ahead and change my name to Führer Napoleon Jockstrap," muttered Enjolras under his breath. Courfeyrac sniggered next to him on one side and Combeferre elbowed him in the other side.

"Why do you want to change your name?" Feuilly asked, pouring three packets of sugar into his coffee as Joly looked on with a horrified expression.

"My name is _Jean_. I couldn't have a more boring, common name. So I started using Jehan instead, but then I was struck with inspiration this morning while talking to my cat and thought, hey, if I can come up with that, then I can come up with something even better and even more unique. Hence Prince Consuelo Banana Hammock."

"But isn't that a bit too," Bahorel searched for the right word, "much?"

"If by too much you mean too awesome, I'm afraid you might be right," conceded Jehan.

"Well, I think it's a lovely name, Jehan," said Marius politey. "Er, I mean, Prince, er, Banana?"

"Thank you! Now come on, who's with me?" Jehan looked around at all his friends. "Who wants to embrace the liberation and change their names with me?"

He got head shakes and a couple half hearted shrugs in reply.

"Okay, that was admittedly more anticlimatic than I anticipated." Jehan glanced around for support. "What about you, Cosette?"

She smiled sheepishly. "I already go by a different name than the one I was born with. Euphrasie's my given name and I got Fauchelevent after I was adopted by my dad. Which... come to think of it, that's not the name _he_ was born with."

This was met with various stares and raised eyebrows.

Cosette shrugged. "Long story."

"What about you, R, would you change your name?" Jehan asked somewhat pleadingly.

Grantaire scoffed. "My name literally has a French pun built into it. No way I'm changing it."

Jehan huffed in frustration. "Really? No one's interested in changing names?"

"I dropped a nobiliary particle from my name," supplied Courfeyrac, "does that count? Although, I _have_ been thinking about a more drastic change. The names Methuselah and Trismegistus have nice rings to them." He ignored the eye rolls from his best friends.

"That's what I'm talking about!" exclaimed Jehan.

"Uh, Prince Consuelo?" Bossuet addressed Jehan. "Do you know what a banana hammock is?"

"A fun spot for a banana to take a nap?"

Bossuet beckoned Jehan closer and whispered in his ear. Jehan straightened back up in alarm.

"Actually," he said, "I'm rather fond of the name Jehan. I think I'm sticking with it."


End file.
